I Call BULLSHIT, #86

Posted July 3rd, 2007 by Joe Kaiser

Huey says the course is used "to protect investors when being sued for using his investment methods." BULLSHIT.

Dear Rob,

My course, 37 Ways to Bulletproof Every Foreclosure Deal, was created to do one thing . . . keep sellers honest.

In the foreclosure business, we investors have to play by the rules and sellers, it turns out, unfortunately do not.

They do not because the deck is stacked so far in their favor that if a seller is dishonest, he’ll not only find a way to weasel out of his deal; he’ll get away with it.

It used to happen to me all the time.

My mistake?

Not understanding how the game is played.

As a young and inexperienced investor, I believed sellers would honor our agreements and any profits I earned would be mine to keep.

Silly me.

Avoiding spurious claims

Showing students how to stay out of court by bulletproofing their deals (so there can be no disputing what took place) was the reason I created the course.

Do a good job of it and even a dishonest seller will think long and hard about filing a sham lawsuit to unwind his sale.

How does your office view it?

David Huey, in action

Here’s the latest from your office’s amended complaint . . .

After being a party to roughly fifty lawsuits, Defendant Kaiser also wrote a book containing tactics and model legal documents designed to protect investors when being sued for using his investment methods.— Amended Lawsuit dated June 21, 2007, by David Huey, presumably

Phuey! I call BULLSHIT.

Never been sued

Rob, David Huey cannot possibly be this obtuse.

He knows the facts (or should, after three years of investigating) and for him to make this claim shows he is willing to do whatever it takes win, even if he has to just make things up.

Let’s be clear.

My partner and I did business at Fiscal Dynamics from 1999 to 2006, and in that time NO SELLER (or anyone else) ever sued us. That’s 300 deals, and zero lawsuits. (I stand corrected and am reminded there was in fact ONE such case. More later).

The claim in your amended suit is intended to make it appear as though we’re getting sued left and right, yet we were not sued even once AND YOUR OFFICE KNOWS THIS.

taking care of business

At my deposition, former AAG Cheryl Kringle asked me how many suits we’d been involved in, and I said around, “50.”

Interestingly, I was also the PLAINTIFF in those same around 50 suits.

Why are we involved in so many lawsuits?

It’s a messy business.

Remember us getting John’s foreclosure overturned and restoring his ownership?

That was a lawsuit.

Remember the sleazebag attorney who scammed Nora?

That was a lawsuit.

Remember the eviction for Butch the Biker?

That was a lawsuit.

Remember Dan and the guardian we appointed, creating a $120k windfall for his ex-wife (Dan’s unpaid child support)?

That was a lawsuit.

We sue to rescue people from foreclosure. And we sue to clear title or evict problem tenants or to accomplish whatever else is needed that only a lawsuit can provide.

keeping the seller honest

Huey says the course is used “to protect investors when being sued for using his investment methods.”


The course has absolutely nothing to do with any such thing. It is simply about keeping sellers honest.

So when the seller says, “I didn’t understand the agreement,” it’s nice to grab that Seller’s Acknowledgment from the file and see he’s signed-off and initialed item #5:

5. FULLY INFORMED AND NOT CONFUSED: I have signed The Agreement being fully informed and with sufficient understanding of all terms and conditions contained therein. I am not confused about any aspect of The Agreement.— Joe Kaiser’s Best Damn Document

That’s a deal on its way to being bulletproofed. What it’s not is a document “to be used when being sued.”

The exact opposite happens when my bulletproofing “tactics and model legal documents” are used: no lawsuits.

And the point of the course, again?

No lawsuits.





Way beyond Huey’s comprehension?


area 51

Rob, making it appear I’m some kind of scofflaw because I’ve been involved in “around 50 lawsuits”, when your office knows they were all lawsuits I brought as plaintiff to set things right?


And implying my bulletproofing course is a tool foreclosure investors use to cheat sellers?

Ditto that.

Yes, I was a party to “roughly fifty lawsuits.” Please note, however, it wasn’t until lawsuit 51 that I was named as a defendent.

And that suit?


That would be you, Rob, and I so call BULLSHIT.


Joe Kaiser

6 Responses to: “I Call BULLSHIT, #86”

  1. Seth responds:
    Posted: July 3rd, 2007 at 6:53 am

    Shaking head no.


  2. David Zemens responds:
    Posted: July 4th, 2007 at 11:53 am

    It appears as though you have managed to draw the anger of an out-of-control prosecutor. When justice runs amuck it’s not pretty. I will be following your story with interest.

  3. Rick Harmon responds:
    Posted: July 4th, 2007 at 4:42 pm

    Joe – Perhaps you’ve read Robert J. Ringer’s classic pragmatic book, “Winning Through Intimidation.” In fact, I’d be astonished if you hadn’t studied it from cover-to-cover already. The premise of the book, of course, is actually a guide on how NOT to be intimidated by other people who would overwise try to throw their power around, rather than how to intimidate other people, as it’s title would suggest.

    His follow up book, written years later (“Million Dollar Habits”) is, not surprisingly, not a book on making money but on habitual actions related to perspective and social environment.

    Many years a go, I was going through a protracted divorce and a friend gave me a little book that really help me gain perspective (Anthony De Mello’s “Awareness”). The irony is, that longtime friend became a CA Deputy A.G in Sac. and one day she suddenly decided that our friendship was a conflect of interest with her job. At first I wasn’t sure if I was about to be served or some such nonsense.

    My point has to do with paradoxes. I am absolutely certain that at some point there will be enormous benefits to you –and probably countless others– after this protracted WA State AG experience ends. And, it will end at some point.

    Just a little perspective from my (now) ex-wife, who just retired last month as a kindergarten teacher: “…they can try to take stuff away from you, but they can’t eat you!”

    Happy 4th…and watch out for hot sparklers when barefoot.

  4. Joe Kaiser responds:
    Posted: July 4th, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    Rick, one can only hope as much (enormous benefits).

    Thanks for the encouraging words as well.


  5. DaveD responds:
    Posted: July 5th, 2007 at 6:33 am

    “Now Paul is a real estate novelist
    who never had time for a wife…” (Billy Joel, Piano Man)


    It’s no secret your secret ambition has long been about being a “real estate novelist.” We all muse what one does. As you know, a novelist’s stock in trade is about writing fiction.

    I think you are getting your dream shot. Ironically, the truth you are writting is way more compelling than any fiction you could dream up. Contemplate that absurdity for a minute.

    But you are piker, compared to others with more vivid imaginations. Maybe we can now “out” Rob as the Piano Man’s friend. Let’s face it… he is way better at publishing fiction than you are.

  6. Mark Schwartz responds:
    Posted: July 10th, 2007 at 8:44 am


    So where/how can I get a copy of the “37 Ways to Bulletproof…..” book? I would like to obtain one.



    Mark V. Schwartz is a full time Real Estate Investor and Internet Entrepreneur, and founder of The Internet Real Estate Center, an Internet based company that shows people how to profit using the Internet as a Real Estate marketing strategy.

    MS Buys Houses
    Bird Dog Profits Blog.

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