I call BULLSHIT, #35

Posted July 18th, 2007 by Joe Kaiser

In that email, he suggested the reason for knocking on a seller's door was "to help," and I thought that was the worst suggestion possible.

Dear Rob,

Your office accuses me of fooling people in foreclosure into thinking I’m there to help them when in actuality, I’m there for one reason only – to get paid.

I admit it (the getting paid part, that is).

And no seller who’s transacted with me believed otherwise.

practice what I preach

I don’t pretend to offer anything other than a “for pay” service, and to suggest sellers think I’m knocking on their door out of the kindness of my heart is nonsense.

I’ve been preaching this to my students for years, telling them how ridiculous it is to do the “sorry to hear about your problem” and the “I’m here to help you” stuff.

And, you obviously confirmed this when your spy, Chris “the mole” Johnson, participated in my recent Blue Pen Flip online training program and heard me tell students that right out of the gate, our job as investors is to “Investor Up.”

What’s that?

It’s me saying to the seller . . .

“Mr. Johnson, I’m an investor . . . which means I can’t buy your property unless I’m confident I can turn around and sell it at a significant profit within 30 days.”— Joe Kaiser, from The Blue Pen Flip™

Does that sound to you like I’m trying to pull the wool over his eyes or trick him into thinking I’m offering free help?

Wasn’t Chris paying attention to the training?

In reality, I do the exact opposite of what you claim, taking it to the extreme so there can be no confusion about my intentions.

Yet what do you accuse me of doing?

Pretending my services are free.

That’s so BULLSHIT.

guru in the house

I was on some foreclosure guru’s mailing list and he sent me an email about how to work the foreclosure business. It was obvious to me he had no idea what he was talking about.

In that email, he suggested the reason for knocking on a seller’s door was “to help,” and I thought that was the worst suggestion possible.

Here’s the email I sent to my list of subscribers in response.

Hey <$firstname$>,

2 am and can’t sleep, again.

Turns out I’m bothered about an email I just got from
some foreclosure guru (seems to be happening a lot
lately) ;-)

Let’s talk about it by me posing this question:

What’s the one word you absolutely must not say
when talking to someone in foreclosure about saving
his home?

Don’t know?

I don’t blame you because I see foreclosure gurus
offering advice about how to approach people in
foreclosure and between you and me, they’re getting
it all wrong.

Today’s email quote from the guru who shall remain
nameless . . .

“Remember, you’re there to help.”

Ugh, no, pal.

“Help,” is a bozo no-no word if there ever was one.

I mentioned this last year and since at least one guy
missed it, I’ve decided today is a good time to address
it again.

Remember . . .


Any notion of an agenda other than “to get paid” is
dumb on so many levels I don’t know where to begin,
but let me pick a few reasons why “to help” is such a
bad idea.

#1 Help smacks of altruism

Altruism is a bogus concept and this, my friend, is a
business not to be confused with altruism. We work
and sometimes, work hard to provide solutions to
people with major, life impacting problems.

When we’re successful, we earn a tremendous profit
(“earn” being the key word there). Altruism, it ain’t.

#2 Help is disingenuous

Admit it, you’re not knocking on doors or cold calling
because you care about Bill and Sally’s predicament,
you’re doing that stuff because you care about getting
a check.

Hey, that, too, is a good thing.

You make a few bucks and keep someone from losing
everything, and that’s cool. Yours is a fantastic service
you don’t need to be masquerading as anything other
than exactly what it is, a “for pay” service.

#3 Help makes you appear suspect

Do you seriously think anyone in foreclosure actually
believes you’re there to help? Trust me here . . . they

They know exactly why you’re knocking: to steal their

Yes, I know that’s not your intention, but that’s exactly
what they’re thinking. Now, what do you suppose works
in this scenario?

You, pitching your silly “I’m here to help” BS, or you as
a foreclosure pro offering a “for pay” service designed to
solve their problem?

Forget about help.

Help is such a bad word it should be banned from your
vocabulary. Get it out of your thoughts and for goodness
sake, don’t allow your clients to go there either.

Why not?

Because you don’t offer help!

Instead, you simply demonstrate, straight up, you’re
not pretending to do or be anything other than what
is on the table, get paid to solve their problem.

Trust me, that’s reassuring to someone concerned
with whom they should place their trust (and their

Forget “help.”

Ban it from your speech.

You’re a highly-paid professional who offers a highly
desirable (and not at all cheap) service that will save
their butts.

Got it?

That’s precisely what someone in foreclosure wants
to hear, by the way . . . reality, straight up.

Trust me, they can handle reality and will appreciate
your candor.

Straight up, is cool.

Candor is cool.

But help?

Ugh, no.

Help sucks.


wool is not my style

My approach?

I’m an investor, I’m there to get paid, and I’m not about to apologize for it. There’s nothing untoward about it.

It’s my job (and the only honest way to do this business).

I am determined to be completely clear with everyone so there can be no confusion about what I do or what I offer. I’m 100% up front about all of it, and profit is not something I need to hide or tap dance around.

I provide a service and am not about to pretend it’s a free service, and I don’t.

Yet, in spite of all of this, your office says I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing, taking advantage of unsophisticated owners in foreclosure by pretending to offer them help out of the kindness of my heart.

Never happened, Rob.

And I call BULLSHIT.


Joe Kaiser

3 Responses to: “I call BULLSHIT, #35”

  1. JayM responds:
    Posted: July 18th, 2007 at 12:31 am

    Funny isn’t it, how basically every ‘service’ provided comes at a cost.

    Yet when it comes to Joe, the AG has a problem with saving houses and expecting to be paid. How wrong of you, Joe! Well, I call Bullshit, too!

    Mr. AG, you’re getting paid whether you win this battle or not. Joe takes a risk on whether he gains profit or loses his investment on these houses.

    Try that for a career… let’s see if you last without all our taxpaying money!

  2. David Zemens responds:
    Posted: July 19th, 2007 at 7:07 am

    Great post, Joe. No reasonable person would think that you do this for anything other than to make a profit. To think otherwise would be ignorant.

    I am really interested in your blog and look forward to new posts.

  3. Seth responds:
    Posted: July 19th, 2007 at 8:17 am

    Another mind-boggling post, Joe.

    I agree with Jay, people that have worked for a weekly paycheck their whole life may not have a clue about risk/reward.

    And I agree with David, I think the AG’s office may think that any homeowner that gets into trouble is a sub-normal that can’t comprehend everyday facts.

    This blog is a 21st century saga.

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